3.11.11

dear japan, I was deeply saddened to hear of your loss and devastation.
god be with you and with us all. we mourn with you.

Pinkalicious Party

Overboard for a 3 year olds birthday party? PUHLEEZE I think NOT!

Energy

I've been thinking a lot lately about energy. Stuff, items, people in my life that give energy and those that take energy. Exercise gives me energy, TV takes energy. Fresh home cooked food gives energy, processed foods take it away. Folks with a sense of humor and an easy smile give energy, those with excess drama take it. Having clutter takes energy, organized spaces gives energy. I want to bring energy into my life, and give it out too.

In the past year I've really pushed myself to grow as a person. Pushing myself to put kindness first. To be vulnerable in friendships and relationships. To be the first one to smile or offer help. I've stopped waiting for other people to be the better person. And by doing this, my energy has lifted. I'm still not perfect at this, because it's truly a challenge.

Being better everyday takes a lot of energy. To be the person I know I can be- takes lots and lots of energy. And I wasn't sure until now that I was up for the challenge. Some days I still don't think I am.
Being a healthy person inside and out takes a lot of work. It takes energy to show up and be there for myself- to exercise, to make an alternative food choice, to eat less. To show up and not tune everything out is hard. To shut down when stress steps in, or when things aren't going my way.

But I shall continue on this journey in my everyday life...

Sweet Sweet Dreams

So I have been on the search for the perfect bedding, I knew I wanted linen....My dream would be all white... SO UNREALISTIC! One word, Paris! Agh, terrible idea! I would regret it forever! I have opted for a neutral color palette ate with funky accents and pops of color!

I love when my visions start to come together! My black 4 poster bed needs some beautiful linens on her!


Duvet and Shams Restoration Hardware
Bird Cage Lamp Stray Dog Design (I have wanted this FOREVER!)
Serena and Lily Pillow Shams
Letters that will Spell out HICKS in a variety of sizes

Of course the walls will be adorned with our black and white wedding photography, and perhaps baby pictures? ;) We shall see!

Deserving...

I'm entering (or have entered) a new chapter in my life. A chapter that isn't marked by a graduation, marriage, or a career change. Instead, it is marked by a change in perspective or enlightenment. To the outside world I probably appear to be the same person I was a few months ago, but to me I feel like I've just shed a skin. I'm still me, of course, but now I actually believe I deserve goodness in my life.

I can't explain it, and honestly I see it all around me, but none of us truly seem to believe we are worth the extra effort. The investment in our lives to make it exactly the way we want it to be. It feels indulgent, and selfish once you're here; there is the usual fear stuff that pops up. This chapter is scary for me, because it's new.

What exactly do I mean? I'm taking inventory of my life right now and liking what I see. And not only do I like what I see, but I feel like I deserve what I've brought to myself. I don't mean perfection, I just mean satisfaction. I deserve a healthy body that can move, so I exercise. I wanted to be around creative people, so I sought them out. I wanted a beautiful space, so I created one. I wanted a good marriage, so I chose the right person (it helps that he chose me too). I wanted to feel and share love, so I adopted my crazy pug. I want to learn new things, so I read ( a lot). I want to connect, so I reach out. I want to explore, so I travel. I want to eat good food, so I cook. I want to express myself, so I blog.

All of these actions bring me to the space I want to be in. The space I never really believed I deserved. I look at all of these little things and think "how did I get so lucky?" and realize that it's not just luck, it's intention. And sometimes all of these intentional actions make me feel like an alien in a world of people who do not see themselves, or me, as deserving. But we are. And I am. Even though I'm sometimes scared to admit it.

There is a lot of guilt that comes from living your life to the fullest (whatever that means), especially when there is so much suffering in the world. Should we not dress well because many people cannot? Should we not make our space as beautiful as possible? Should we not exercise our bodies because some people are not able? Should we not eat the best food possible because others are starving?

I think about these things a lot. And I've come to realize (for now anyway) that to not be the best version of myself, to deny opportunities, to not exercise the body that can move- would be a disservice to myself. If I am presented a door and choose to not open it, no one benefits.

I believe that when I fully take advantage of my gifts (and believe I deserve to) not only do I improve my life, but those around me. I cannot help anyone if I don't believe I'm deserving of goodness.

baby shaffer

Trent Joseph Shaffer has arrived! 7.7lbs

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Welcome to the world sweet little Shaffer. I am so excited to snuggle you!

fabuloUs

My motto! I love and adore this! I actually think I need it mounted on a canvas and put up in my little house! So so true! Once we let go of being everything, we have the opportunity to be gloriously ourselves!


Life is fabuloUs